The only answer
by muggedbyamoney
Summary: A depressed Jade has to make a big choice about her life. Can anyone save her from herself? More reviews means more updates
1. Chapter 1

**Jade POV**

As I walked into school I put on my stone cold mean exterior like I did every day prior for the past three years. I pushed open the doors and saw all of my friends by their lockers enjoying each other. Cat was flirting with Robbie, Andre and Beck were talking about something, probably sports, and then there was Vega with her smug smile and love of life. I hated her so much; I hated her because I envied her.

"Hey Jade!" Vega yelled and waved to me as she ran over and hugged me.

"Get off of me Vega." I hissed coldly "You know I hate human contact."

She backed off with a saddened look on her face and I knew immediately that I had hurt her. I was about to apologize when she perked back up and asked me how my weekend was.

"It was fine I guess." I said as I looked at my wrists and feeling the pain that I had previously inflicted.

"Jade how in the world are you wearing long sleeves today its like 100 degrees outside, aren't you dying?" Cat asked as she bounced over to where Vega and I were standing.

_Cat you don't know how much I am dying. _I thought to myself. "It's a little hot Cat but all my short sleeved black clothes are dirty so this is all I had left." I said taking a sip from my coffee.

"KK that makes sense" Cat squeeled

The bell rang and everyone started to vacate the hallway "Hey guys we should get to Sikowitz class before we are late again." Andre called from down the hall.

We all started to Sikowitz class until I realized that I still hadn't gone to my locker to get my books yet. "Shit guys I'll catch up I still need to go to my locker." I said. Everyone said they would see me in class and as I turned around and walked down the hall I started to cry.

I could feel my mascara running down my face as the hot tears did as well. I got my books out of my locker and ran to the janitor's closet. I dropped to my knees and let out all of my tears. I felt like shit about what I did to Vega but I could never let her know that. I could never let anyone know that I had feelings, that I felt pain.

I reached into my purse and started to search around for the scissors that I always kept in there just in case I needed them during school. I couldn't find them so I dumped out my purse as I started to freak out. Those scissors are the only thing that make me feel ok, make me feel human; know that I can feel pain.

As I looked at the contents of my purse laying on the floor I knew I didn't have my scissors, I was missing my only lifeline. I sat on the floor crying for a few minutes until there was a knock on the door.

"Who is in there? No one is allowed in the Janitor's closet, open this door right now." Said a voice from the other side of the door.

I found a towel and wiped the mascara off of my eyes and made myself presentable before opening the door. I saw it was one of the janitors and quickly looked at his nametag. "Go fuck yourself 'Randy'." I said to him putting air quotes around his name as I pushed him out of the way.

I walked to the bathroom and put down my coffee and started to fix my makeup. I took a sip of my coffee and burned my tongue. "Fucking cocksucker" I screamed. An idea dawned on my after that moment, I didn't need my scissors because I had something else to use as my lifeline today.

I picked up my coffee and put my hand in the sink, after a moments hesitation I dumped the hot coffee on my hand and could feel it burning me, I clenched my hand and relief filled my soul. I washed off my hand of the coffee and walked to class.

I walked into Sikowitz's class and when he saw me he was about to yell at me for being late until I saw his eyes turned to my clenching hand. His anger turned into sadness as he realized why I was late. Sikowitz was the only one who knew I was depressed, I could confide anything to him and he was always there for me.

I tried to ignore his disappointed look as I walked over and sat down next to Beck and the gang. The class flew by as Sikowitz rambled on about something that was of no importance to anyone. The class ended and everyone got up to leave, Beck grabbed my hand and I winced but immediately put my cover face back on not wanting him to know about me. Every second that Beck held my hand was painful but I never let it show.

As we walked to the door I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned knowing who it was. "Excuse us Beck but I need to talk to Jade about being tardy." Sikowitz told him.

Beck let go of my hand and I felt some relief as the pain faded, he kissed me and walked out the door. I turned to see Sikowitz with his arms folded looking disappointed.

"Look I know what you are going to say but I'm fine. Seriously." I said avoiding his gaze.

"Beck still doesn't know does he?" Sikowitz asked.

I was thrown off by his lack of lecturing me about self-harm but I knew what he was getting at "No he doesn't and I'm going to make sure that he never does." I whispered.

He shook his head and told me the same thing that he always does "You need someone to talk to Jade."

"I have you…" I muttered.

"You are a senior Jade, I'm not going to be there with you in college, you need someone else to talk to." He said.

I knew he was right but I didn't want to admit it and I really didn't want Beck to know how broken I was.

"Jade maybe you should take the rest of the day off. Go home and rest up and try and cheer up a little." He suggested.

I gave him a hug and headed out the door. I tried to avoid all of my friends as I left the building but I was caught at the door by Vega. Fucking Vega with her ability to sing and dance and act. With her beautiful tan skin and sexy curves, her supple breasts her plump ass. She was just the perfect human being and I wanted more than anything to be with her.

No one knows that I'm pansexual and I'm fairly sure that Vega is straight so I didn't want to say anything. Plus I'm with Beck and he would never allow a polyamory relationship. So secret sexuality it is.

Al all of these thoughts went through my head I hadn't realized that she had already caught up to me. _Fuck I didn't want to be seen by anyone, not even the girl of my dreams. _ "Hey Vega I can't talk right now I've gotta go." I said turning out the door.

"Oh ok. Uhm are we still to study later?" She asked looking sad that I was leaving.

"Yea we are you can just come over around six I guess." I told her and she perked right back to her normal self. "I'll see you later Vega, and could you bring me what I miss today, if its not to much of a hassle?" I asked.

"Nothing is to much of a hassle when it comes to you Jade" she said with a smile. "Feel better and I'll see you later" she squealed as she walked off to class.

"Yea see you later Tori." I whispered as I walked out the door and to my car.


	2. Chapter 2

**Jade POV**

As I walked out the door and toward my car I pulled out my phone and started looking through my music trying to find something to play on the ride home. I opened the door to my car just as I found what I was looking for. I plugged it in and turned the volume all the way up and "Afterlife" by Avenged Sevenfold started to blast out of the speakers.

The blaring metal music was what I needed to calm my nerves. Somehow the screaming and loud instruments calm me in a way that nothing else ever could. I opened the windows so my music could drift out the windows as I sped out of the parking lot.

Being in this state of mind I'm always a little more careless with my life. I got on the parkway to get back to my house and immediately sped up to 100 miles an hour weaving in and out of the other cars on the road subconsciously hoping that I would get myself injured or worse. Today being like any other day I made it home safe.

I got out of my car and entered my house knowing that no one was home I went up to my room and went to bed before I hurt myself more than I already had today. The clock read 10:15 as I closed my eyes and everything went black.

What seemed like only a second later I heard the door slam and seconds later yelling ensued meaning that my parents were home. They were always fighting I didn't even really understand why they were still married. I opened my eyes and looked at the clock, it was only 12:00. Neither of them should even have been home but then again I shouldn't have been either.

"I'M PAYING ALL OF THIS FUCKING MONEY FOR HER TO GO TO THIS GOD DAMN SCHOOL AND SHE ISNT EVEN FUCKING THERE." I could hear my dad yelling from downstairs and I knew this was not going to end well for me.

I tried to hide under my blanket like I did when I was little as my father stormed upstairs and kicked my door down. "You little disappointment, why the fuck aren't you at that 'School that is meant for you'. He said quoting me.

"I never approved of this school and I never loved you. You were a fucking mistake." He screamed. "And fucking look at me when I'm talking to you, you little brat." He said tearing off my blanket.

He reached down and grabbed me by the shoulders and lifted me out of bed. I could see my mother cowering behind the door. When I was high enough up I could smell alcohol on my father's breath. He raised his fist and struck me in the ribs, my mother gasped but I didn't make a sound. I knew it would be over if I didn't react. And I had inflicted greater pain on myself than my father ever could.

By 12:15 the beating was over and I was alone in the house again, sitting in the shower with the water running over me curled in a ball trying to justify my father's actions. _I should have just staying in school today he would have been proud of me then. This is all my fault, I deserved this._ My tears mixed with the running water I didn't even really notice I was crying at all.

I was in the shower until 2 in the afternoon, I think I fell asleep again but I'm not really sure. I was waiting for the bruises to start to show but my father knew just where to hit so it never showed and no one would ever know.

I didn't want to think about anything more today so I started to drink, taking shot after shot, beer after beer trying to numb the pain of my hand and in my ribs. By 4 I was drunk. By 5 I was crying my eyes out.

By 5:15 I was twirling scissors in my hand as I sat in the corner of my room. I blacked out for a while and came to at 5:55 something was wrong though, I couldn't feel my hands and I felt weaker than usual.

I looked down at my arms and saw blood spurting from two gaping wounds, everything started to fade in and out. _What have I done? What the fuck did I do_? I thought my mind racing.

As my vision started to turn to black I heard a distinctive sound, the doorbell was ringing. I completely forgot Tori was coming over to study, I tried to cry out to her but the only thing that came out was blood. I let out a chuckle and spit up more blood, a calm realization washed over me. I let out one last cruel smile as blood spilled out of my mouth. I knew this was the end for me. Everything was getting darker, I walked calmly into death's cool embrace, everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Jade POV**

It was dark and cold as I walked around the nether relm trying to find my way about. I walked through a dark forest until I came upon a man sitting at a table sipping what seemed to be blood. There was an abundance of food and drinks on the table and he invited me to sit down. What I thought was blood that he was drinking was actually just tea, I sat down and made a plate of food and looked at the man.

"Where am I and who are you" I asked biting into a hamburger.

"I go by many names, but mostly I am know as The Reaper", the man said standing from the table as a scythe appeared in his hand and a cloak around his body, his skin melted away until all that was left was a skeleton in a hood.

"Ok yea cool you are the reaper but that doesn't answer my other question. Where the fuck are we and how did I get here." I said nonchalantly.

"I uh, aren't you shocked or something about who I am?" Death said a little taken aback by my answer.

"No I have expected this a long time coming I knew this was the nether relm the second I entered. Also my wrists aren't slashed through anymore so ya know there's that." I said lifting up my wrists to show him and shrugging a little. "What I don't remember is how the hell this happened. I wasn't planning on killing myself so soon. Also I never expected such a nice spread when I got here." I said taking a swig of the most delicious coffee I had ever tasted.

"Well my dear Miss West I have been watching you for some time now and I must say you are probably one of my favorite mortals. Always wreaking havoc and discord, taking in pain like it is nothing. Tormenting others. I love it." Death said to me with much pride and respect.

"Right now is not your time to die my young lass but I did bring you here for a reason I must admit. Everything is going to change now, people will leave, fights will ensue, and above all you will not be safe. So I have brought you here to give you a gift." Death snapped his fingers and a wolf materialized next to him.

"This my dear is reaper, he is a shadow wolf and will protect you in life from now until we meet again. And this time make sure that you do not come back for a very long time." He said snapping his fingers and everything started to fade in and out. "Oh and reaper will always be with you in the shadows just call his name and he will appear." These were death's last words to me when I awoke again beautiful green eyes awaited me and a gasping sound was made when I looked at her.

"Guys, GUYS! She's awake everyone come in she is finally awake." Tori shouted to someone. That was all I could take in before passing out again.


End file.
